Emotional Release Technique: Accept & Allow
We have to accept and allow our feelings first, before we can hope to be free of them.
Many of us suffer because we fear emotional pain. We mask our issues and distract ourselves from them, fearing the pain we’ll feel if we try to let them out. But this just causes the pain we fear.
I had a funny moment today. I felt lonely. And instead of accepting the feeling, I immediately froze and started to think, “I shouldn’t be lonely. I’ve done my work. I have moved to the beach. I’ve got the life of my dreams. Why am I lonely? What have I done wrong?”
Luckily – finally – I was able to stop and chuckle to myself.
"The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray."
- Oscar Wilde
You see, loneliness is just a feeling, and like any other feeling, we have to accept it before we can let it go. The problem, however, is that our minds usually get hold of a feeling before we can even realise what’s happening. Once our minds attach a story to the feeling, we begin the process of problem solving.
Problem solving never helps ease emotions out of the body. It simply masks them in mental distraction. We may feel good for a time, but the feeling will creep back up and want out some other time. So it is best we learn to feel and release, instead.
That’s what I did. And the feeling went. And it took 3 seconds.
How To Accept and Allow Our Feelings
Sit quietly by yourself and breathe deeply for a few moments. Quiet the mind of any stories or analysis it is attributing to your feelings. Do this by acknowledging the stories, and not attaching to them or feeding into them. Simply notice that they are there.
Feel your discomfort. Many times we have trouble feeling our feelings because we have expectations that we should be in a comfortable state. This expectation creates emotional repression, which is what we want to avoid. So accept your discomfort. Accept your disappointment.
Maybe you’re upset that you have been angry or sad. You might be frustrated with yourself for feeling a certain way. Accept that. Then accept the feeling you’re disappointed in.
We must give our feelings permission to sit at the table with us. Do this now by talking to yourself and addressing your feelings. You might say, “I feel sadness in this moment, and that is ok. I am allowing sadness to come out right now.”
Breathe deeply and slowly and sit with the feeling without panicking or attaching a story that tells you that you must solve your sadness or distract yourself, or that you must get over it. Often within minutes, the feeling will ease up. It’s okay if it takes hours or days. You can come back to this process again and again when you feel ready or have free time.
Continue this process until your body has released. You will know when that has occurred as you will feel lighter and quite a bit more optimistic. That’s all there is to it.
This process will help to empty our emotional bodies of the pent up feelings that cause reactions in other areas of our lives.
So my friends, would you rather spend days, months, and years running from your feelings in fear of pain? Or would you commit to spending a few minutes allowing yourself to have feelings – without analysing them – in order to have ultimate freedom?